AGGIE: Have ye seen oor Jim's bloag?
AGGIE: It's no there.
SHUGGIE: Whidja mean, "No there?"
AGGIE: Ah'm tellin ye, it's no there.
SHUGGIE: Shove o'er. Let me look.
SHUGGIE: Wait till Ah find ma glasses.
AGGIE: Whur d'ye leave 'em?
SHUGGIE: How the hell do Ah know?
AGGIE: Did ye leave 'em in the loo?
SHUGGIE: Ah'll check.
SHUGGIE: All right wumman! They're here.
AGGIE: Right, will ye have a look now?
SHUGGIE: Ah'm lookin.
AGGIE: See! Ah told ye. It's no there.
SHUGGIE: Af course it's there. See there's his butterfly-thingy.
AGGIE: Ah seen that but there's no bloag.
SHUGGIE: Sure there is. It's jist people talkin that's aw.
AGGIE: Whit're they oan about?
SHUGGIE: Ah'm tryin t'read. Gie us a second.
SHUGGIE: He's proably goanna plug that book o' his.
AGGIE: Oh, 'sthat aw?
SHUGGIE: Wait a sec. There's a link.
AGGIE: Whur to?
SHUGGIE: Orgrease Crankbait
AGGIE: That's no a real name.
SHUGGIE: Ah never said it were.
AGGIE: Is it up yet?
SHUGGIE: Aye. Look! Ah told ye. It's another review.
AGGIE: Af whit?
SHUGGIE: Oor Jim's book.
AGGIE: Did we no buy it already?
SHUGGIE: Ah thought you wus ordering it.
AGGIE: Ah've goat enough t'do chasin after your arse. Whit's that Greasy bloke goat t'say?
SHUGGIE: Ah'm readin.
AGGIE: Is it good?
SHUGGIE: Seems to be. He calls Jim 'erudite'.
AGGIE: That's a kind o' glue.
SHUGGIE: Nah, that's Araldite.
AGGIE: Aw. Right. Cun Ah huv a shuftie?
SHUGGIE: Ah've closed the windae.
AGGIE: Whidya dae that fur?
SHUGGIE: Ah wisne thinkin.
AGGIE: So whit's new there? Get it back then.
SHUGGIE: Ah've goat t'go walk the dog. There, click oan the link yersel.
AGGIE: Ah can't see it.
SHUGGIE: Yer blin. It's right there: Orgrease Crankbait.
AGGIE: Ah still think that's a shite name fur a wean. Hey!
AGGIE: Ye don't fancy bringin in a chippy oan yer way back?
SHUGGIE: Steak pie supper, hen?
Living with the Truth Stranger than Fiction This Is Not About What You Think Milligan and Murphy Making Sense