AGGIE: Whit's qualia when it's at hame?
SHUGGIE: Is that no a wee burd, like a pigeon?
AGGIE: Nah, that's a quail, ye daft bat.
SHUGGIE: So where're ye readin aboot qualias?
AGGIE: Oan Kay Sexton's bloag.
SHUGGIE: Never heard af 'er. Whit's she like? Sum nature freak?
AGGIE: It's jist a bloag. There's no burds oan it. She's a writer.
SHUGGIE: Pity, ah like burds.
AGGIE: An we aw know whit kinda burds you like. If ye're no goanna be a help jist shut up. Ah'm tryin t'read a review.
SHUGGIE: Anither yin. We read wan a couple a days ago. Is it that book've Jim's?
SHUGGIE: Did you order it like ye said ye would?
AGGIE: I told you Ah did.
SHUGGIE: Ah bet 'e's tryin t'get awa wi jist postin a link t'the review an skippin oan daein a real post.
AGGIE: Nah, there's an interview here an evrythin.
SHUGGIE: Wi oor Jim? Whit's e goat t'say aboot burds?
AGGIE: There's nothin aboot burds.
SHUGGIE: Then how're ye askin me aboot quails?
AGGIE: It's this review. She says Jim's book reminds her af qualia.
SHUGGIE: Maybe it's French fur quail.
AGGIE: Ah don't think so. An then she goes oan aboot the thinginess of things.
SHUGGIE: The whitiness of whits?
AGGIE: Look, Ah canne read this if yoor goanna keep blabberin oan.
SHUGGIE: You asked me aboot burds.
AGGIE: Ah didne.
SHUGGIE: You so did.
AGGIE: Christ, this is too much. Ah'm goanna make a cuppa. You want one?
SHUGGIE: Shhh, Ah'm tryin t'read Kay's bloag.
Living with the Truth Stranger than Fiction This Is Not About What You Think Milligan and Murphy Making Sense