Living with the Truth Stranger than Fiction This Is Not About What You Think Milligan and Murphy Making Sense

Sunday, 22 June 2008

Aggie and Shuggie 3
















AGGIE: Shuggie!
SHUGGIE: (snore)
AGGIE: SHUGGIE!
SHUGGIE: Whithefu?
AGGIE: Have ye seen Rachel Fox's bloag t'day?
SHUGGIE: Naw, Ah don't read her stuff. She rambles an Ah've enough wi wan wumman ramblin oan at me aw day long withoot anither wan.
AGGIE: Hey, you! Git yer fat arse o'er here while Ah skelp ye.
SHUGGIE: No bloody likely. Ah'll jist stay put o'er here.
AGGIE: Fine. Now d'ye wanti know whit Rachel's oan aboot?
SHUGGIE: Aye, awright.
AGGIE: She's only goin oan at oor Jim.
SHUGGIE: She's no! Ah'll smash her face in.
AGGIE: No like that ye pillock. C'mere an see.
SHUGGIE: AYAH! Whidya hit me fer, wumman?
AGGIE: Ye know full well whit fer. Look at that.
SHUGGIE: Whit?
AGGIE: She's written a bloag aboot oor Jim.
SHUGGIE: Is it no aboot his book?
AGGIE: No really.
SHUGGIE: Whidye mean, no really? Ah thought she might be pluggin his book.
AGGIE: It's kinda aboot him instead.
SHUGGIE: Whit's she goat t'say aboot him? It better be good or Ah’ll…
AGGIE: Sssssht! Ah'm still readin it! There's some kinda checklist at the end.
SHUGGIE: Well read it quick so Ah cun see whit's she oan aboot.
AGGIE: Will ye stoap leanin o'er ma shoulda?
SHUGGIE: Ah'm jist tryin t'see.
AGGIE: Have ye brushed yer teeth t'day?
SHUGGIE: How come?
AGGIE: Cos yer breath smells like a badger's bum. Goan dae it right this time while Ah finish wi Rachel's bloag.
SHUGGIE: Ah'm goin.
AGGIE: An ye might think aboot changin that vest too. An wash yer oaksters while yer at it.
SHUGGIE: Fine. Nag.
AGGIE: Clatty midden.
SHUGGIE: Bitch.
AGGIE: Lard arse.

7 comments:

Rachel Fox said...

We're hooked on 'Everybody loves Raymond' just now. It's all old episodes and it's on C4 in the mornings so it has to be taped and watched later. The parents in it are very like your pair here. Like 'Frasier' and other US shows it makes us laugh out loud (that's right l o bloody l) a good few times most episodes. We love it.
x

Jim Murdoch said...

Could never get into Everybody loves Raymond. I watched a few episodes but it never clicked. Same with Sex and the City. Now Frasier we watched faithfully. I'm not sure about his new sitcom Over to You; Frasier was endearing in his pomposity but Chuck Darling is abrasive and the cast doesn't seem to gel but I'd watch another episode.

As for 'Aggie and Shuggie' I have no idea where they came from. I've been toying with doing a blog in dialogue for a while and needed a foil. I just kept running names through my head, things like George and Mildred when the names Aggie and Shuggie popped into my head. As soon as I had the names I had the characters. The personalities owe a lot to the likes of Rab C Nesbitt as Ken noted last time, and half the married couples I've known over the years.

Dave King said...

You did it, you didn't think you could do it again, but you did it! Wonderful! Mind you, having read Rachel's post, I can see that you almost had to do it.

Jim Murdoch said...

That I did, Dave, and it was a lot easier than I expected but it always is once I make a start. I sometimes forget when I have a task that this that I'm a writer, I can do this stuff.

Rachel's sort-of-review - as we've been calling it - is certainly different from the other reviews I've read so far and I can't pretend her focus on me-the-writer hasn't made me squirm but what the hell, at least she had nice things to say about me and eight bullet points were quite sufficient thank you very much.

Jenaisle said...

Yes, Rachel's "review" depicted you as a man with a heart. This would certainly make the book a success. When one writes with the "heart", he can never go wrong.

Good luck.

Rachel Fox said...

It's an interesting point Jenaisle's...doing anything with the heart is seen as very unfashionable, very unliterary, very Oprah and altogether embarrassing...can't do much without it though!
x

Jim Murdoch said...

Well, ladies, I can't honestly see me ever not writing from the heart. It doesn't matter how intellectual you think you're being, if there's no feeling there then what is the point? If not then what have you written? A text book.

Ping services