AGGIE: Have ye seen Rachel Fox's bloag t'day?
SHUGGIE: Naw, Ah don't read her stuff. She rambles an Ah've enough wi wan wumman ramblin oan at me aw day long withoot anither wan.
AGGIE: Hey, you! Git yer fat arse o'er here while Ah skelp ye.
SHUGGIE: No bloody likely. Ah'll jist stay put o'er here.
AGGIE: Fine. Now d'ye wanti know whit Rachel's oan aboot?
SHUGGIE: Aye, awright.
AGGIE: She's only goin oan at oor Jim.
SHUGGIE: She's no! Ah'll smash her face in.
AGGIE: No like that ye pillock. C'mere an see.
SHUGGIE: AYAH! Whidya hit me fer, wumman?
AGGIE: Ye know full well whit fer. Look at that.
AGGIE: She's written a bloag aboot oor Jim.
SHUGGIE: Is it no aboot his book?
AGGIE: No really.
SHUGGIE: Whidye mean, no really? Ah thought she might be pluggin his book.
AGGIE: It's kinda aboot him instead.
SHUGGIE: Whit's she goat t'say aboot him? It better be good or Ah’ll…
AGGIE: Sssssht! Ah'm still readin it! There's some kinda checklist at the end.
SHUGGIE: Well read it quick so Ah cun see whit's she oan aboot.
AGGIE: Will ye stoap leanin o'er ma shoulda?
SHUGGIE: Ah'm jist tryin t'see.
AGGIE: Have ye brushed yer teeth t'day?
SHUGGIE: How come?
AGGIE: Cos yer breath smells like a badger's bum. Goan dae it right this time while Ah finish wi Rachel's bloag.
SHUGGIE: Ah'm goin.
AGGIE: An ye might think aboot changin that vest too. An wash yer oaksters while yer at it.
SHUGGIE: Fine. Nag.
AGGIE: Clatty midden.
AGGIE: Lard arse.
Living with the Truth Stranger than Fiction This Is Not About What You Think Milligan and Murphy Making Sense