| Maggie: | [Knock Knock Knock] Ma! Da! Get up. |
| Aggie: | [Throwing the bedroom door open] Whit is it, hen? Is it yer gran? Huff we bin burgled? Hus the doag swallayed the remote agin? |
| Maggie: | Naw. Nuhin like tha. This! [Holds up her laptop] Huff ye seen this? |
| Aggie: | Whit hen? |
| Maggie: | Unca Jim’s hud a wan star refyoo. |
| Aggie: | A whit? Yoo are yankin ma chain. Do noat joke aboot stuff like tha. |
| Maggie: | Ah’m no jokin ma. Wan star! Wan! |
| Aggie: | Ssssssh. Keep yer voice doon. Yer’ll wake yer faither. If e gets t’hear news like tha afore is second cuppa coffee e’ll go ballistic. |
| Maggie: | Ah know but… |
| Aggie: | Jist hawd yer horses. [Quickly closes the door] Now, han it ower. Whit pillock in thur right mind wid gie oor Jim a wan star refyoo? |
| Maggie: | Brad Frederiksen. |
| Aggie: | Sounds Scandinavian. |
| Maggie: | E’s an Aussie. |
| Aggie: | Ah thought they wur aw cawd ‘Bruce’. |
| Maggie: | Apparently no. |
| Aggie: | Right. E must huff goan doolally frae aw tha sun an the coanstant diet o prawns an beer. Now see us that laptop ower ere. |
| Maggie: | [Hands it over] See, Ma! |
| Aggie: | Wheesht girl. Ah’m readin. |
| Maggie: | Well? |
| Aggie: | It’s sno tha bad. Did ye read it aw? |
| Maggie: | Naw. Ah jist saw the wan star bit an thought Ah’d need tae show wan o yoos two so we could buy a plane ticket an fly doon thur an stick the nut in im. |
| Aggie: | If ye click oan the link e says, “Ah’m gein Living wi the Truth a ratin o wan star. Fer that star Ah’ve chosen the brightest star in the Southern Croass t’night. |
| Maggie: | Oh. Ah get it. E’s bein clever. Very witty. Whit else did e say tha Ah missed? |
| Aggie: | Ah’m readin! Hang oan. Wait, in this comment ere e says, “Thur is a philosophical depth tae Living wi the Truth … Ah’ve personally found it tae be an engaging an stimulating read – wan that has stuck wi me since Ah first read it last year. Ah recommend it highly t’anywan who likes a guid dose o human insight, escapism, an humour wi their Philosophy o Truth. |
| Maggie: | Thank Christ fer that. |
| Aggie: | Aye, ye hud me worried thur. Ah wud no like tae be the person tae upset yer da wi crap like tha. |
| Maggie: | Me neither, ma. |
| Aggie: | Right. Stick the kettle oan, hen, an Ah’ll go an tell is lordship the guid news. |
8 comments:
Good morning Jim! You have started my day with a warm smile and a good chuckle. Thank you.
Which is exactly what I was going for, Brad.
Nice one, Jim! 33 of them now! They deserve a separate page for themselves!
People have said that kind of thing before, Marion, but I tend to regard them as throwaway stuff just there to promote the latest review. They’re like a comic strip. I read Garfield and Dilbert every day but I’ve always found collections of them lose something like eating chocolate after chocolate; our eyes tell us we’re going to enjoy it but it isn’t long before our tummy starts to grumble. I’m frankly amazed I’ve managed thirty-three. There ought to have been more but those last three all came in a clump and so I thought one would be best. I’ll run out of ideas eventually. I got one a couple of nights ago as I was falling to sleep and I should’ve scribbled it down but I thought: Aw, it’s just an Aggie and Shuggie. Maybe it’ll come back to me if I don’t try too hard to remember it. Probably not.
Great conversation between Maggie and Aggie.
Glad you enjoyed it, Rachna. They're fun to do every now and then. Something different. I started doing them to direct people to new reviews of my books but I'm not sure how successful they've been. I suspect most non-Scots (which is about 99% of my readership) wonder what the hell they're all about and give up on them without clicking on the links. But I really hate the hard sell.
I love Aggie and Shuggie.
Well, Ken, I'm glad to hear that.
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