Living with the Truth Stranger than Fiction This Is Not About What You Think Milligan and Murphy Making Sense

Thursday, 27 January 2011

Aggie and Shuggie 30

babycham2

Oggie:

Och, ere e comes, tha wounded soja.

Shuggie:

Mornin, Oggie. A pint o heavy when ye’ve a minute.

Oggie:

Fer yoo – no poablemo. Hoo’re tha goolies?

Shuggie:

Still oan tha tender side Ah huff tae say.

Oggie:

So yoo’ll no be wantin anither shoat oan tha Karaoke then?

Shuggie:

No tha noo. Ah mist owe yer sumhim fer tha speakers.

Oggie:

At’s paid.

Shuggie:

Paid?

Oggie:

Aye. Paid in fu. Aggie came doon an paid me fer tha damages a couple o days aefter ye went intae hoaspital.

Shuggie:

She neffer said. Ah wummer whur she goat tha readies?

Oggie:

Well far be it frae me tae cause ructions but huff ye seen yer first edition af The Catcher in the Rye recently?

Shuggie:

She cudnae?

Oggie:

Aye she cud.

Shuggie:

She widnae?

Oggie:

Aye she wid.

Shuggie:

She didnae?

Oggie:

Aye she did. Goat aboot seven hunner quid doon tha toon furrit.

Shuggie:

Seven hunner? They was worth ower a grand. Twelve hunner at least.

Oggie:

Ah well, Shuggie. Whit cun Ah say? Hows aboot a wee whisky oan tha hoose?

Shuggie:

Ah may as well.

Oggie:

There ye go, son. Get tha doon ye. So whit’s life like noo yer back hame?

Shuggie:

Froasty tae say tha least. Wid freeze the bas aff a pawnbroker’s sign.

Oggie:

Aye?

Shuggie:

Aye. She hus goat me oan a very short leash.

Oggie:

A choaker?

Shuggie:

Ah’d luv tae.

Oggie:

No, Ah wis talkin aboot tha collar. A choaker?

Shuggie:

Aye, sumhin like tha.

Oggie:

So how come ye managed tae sneak oot ere?

Shuggie:

We’ll oor Jim’s poemtry book goat a nice refyoo oan tha Ink, Sweat an Tears site an Ah took advantage o tha general guid mood in tha hoose an thought Ah’d chance ma arm an poap oot fer a wee bevvy.

Oggie:

Are they still oan the go? Ah do like a bit o jazz-fusion.

Shuggie:

No tha band ye pillock. INK, Sweat an Tears!

Oggie:

Awwww. Ah though they wis a trbute band ur sumhin. So wis it a guid refyoo?

Shuggie:

Pretty gid, aye.

Oggie:

Ye should get yoor Jim tae come doon an read a few af is poems tae the punters. We like a wee bit o Kultcha-wi-a-capital-k effry noo an then.

Shuggie:

Ah’ll ask im but e’s a wee bit oan tha shy side.

Oggie:

Tell im there’s twenny quid in it an aw tha dry salted peanuts e can eat.

Shuggie:

Sounds like a fair deal tae me.

Oggie:

That ye aff then?

Shuggie:

Aye, dinnae want tae push it.

Oggie:

Ye shud take tha missus in a wee sumhin tae warm the cockles af her heart. How aboot a wee Babysham.

Shuggie:

Tha’s no a bad idea but tell ye whit, sling us ower a couple o Carlsberg Specials insteed.

Oggie:

Two leg openers comin right up. Best o luck, Shuggie.

Shuggie:

Hanks, Oggie. Ah’ll need it.

7 comments:

Danish dog said...

Nice discreet plug for the book of poetry, Jim. Elegantly done!

Jim Murdoch said...

Glad you liked it, Danish dog. I really don't think the hard sell works and this has become a bit of a tradition. I keep thinking I'm going to dry up but not yet.

SY said...

I soundlike this when I'm drunk.. and oddly enough the dialogue reminds me of the twins from Alice and Wonderland... don't know why...

nicely done..
-Sy

patteran said...

30 already! My favourite animated cartoon.

Jim Murdoch said...

Much as I’m a fan of Matt Lucas I’m not quite sure that’s what I was aiming for, Sy, but you’ve got the right idea with the cross-banter between the two. Glad you liked it.

And, Dick, yes, the big three-o. Never thought I could keep it going this long but there you go and I do know of one other review which is coming so we’ll get a chance to see how Shuggie gets on with the Carlsberg Specials.

Dave King said...

Superb. Ink sweat and Tears, eh? Well, I might try a dose o that mesel!

Jim Murdoch said...

I've been a long-time subscriber, Dave. I like the fact that I get one piece a day to read. And they're never too long either.

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