Living with the Truth Stranger than Fiction This Is Not About What You Think Milligan and Murphy Making Sense

Thursday 5 August 2010

Aggie and Shuggie 25

 Who's on First

Maggie:

Da, cum an huffa look! Colin’s posted a noo refyoo af Unca Jim’s poetry book.

Shuggie:

Colin who?

Maggie:

Colin Wull.

Shuggie:

Colin wull whit?

Maggie:

He wullne oanyhin.

Shuggie:

Then why’d ye say e would?

Maggie:

Ah didne say e would

Shuggie:

Aye ye did. You said, ‘Colin wull…’

Maggie:

Whit Ah meant wis tha Colin has…

Shuggie:

Haas? As that no a Jewish name?

Maggie:

His name’s no Haas, Da. At’s Wull.

Shuggie:

Who?

Maggie:

Colin.

Shuggie:

Colin Haas?

Maggie:

Naw … Wull.

Shuggie:

Wullie who?

Maggie:

Naw, tha’s his name: Wull!

Shuggie:

Did ye no say is name were Colin?

Maggie:

Ah did.

Shuggie:

Then is name canne be Colin af it’s Wull.

Maggie:

Aye it can.

Shuggie:

Naw, it canne.

Maggie:

Da, it can!

Shuggie:

Ah bet you’ll be tellin me next hing tha black can be white.

Maggie:

Ackchally… no, forget it. Tha guy’s name is Colin Wull. Wull is his last name.

Shuggie:

No is middle name?

Maggie:

Naw.

Shuggie:

No short fer Wulliam or oanyhin?

Maggie:

No, Da.

Shuggie:

Ah see. So whit wull Colin Wull’s wull be then?

Maggie:

E wulln’t oanyhin. E’s . . . whiteffer tha past tense af wulled is.

Shuggie:

Wulted?

Maggie:

Grrrrr. Jist look ere at is website.

Shuggie:

Oh Ah see noo. At’s a refyoo af oor Jim’s book o poeyemtry.

Maggie:

Ah wis tryin tae tell ye tha but ye widdne lissun.

Shuggie:

Wull Ah’m lissunin noo. As it oany good?

Maggie:

Aye, Da. Colin says: ‘This is a fine collection by a thoughtful, subtle and perceptive writer, and it deserves to be widely read.’

Shuggie:

Tha’s dead nice. Tha Colin’s a nice bloke.

Maggie:

Ah’d huff tae agree thur, Da.

Shuggie:

Whit’s is bloag caw’d?

Maggie:

Sunny Dunny.

Shuggie:

So e’s an Australian? Ah though e wis Jewish.

Maggie:

Don’t go thur, Da.

6 comments:

Marion McCready said...

Just ordered it, Jim. Any chance you could sign it?

Jim Murdoch said...

That's lovely of you, Marion, and of course I will.

Dave King said...

Brilliant, as always. But thou knows what I think of Aggie and Shuggie.
Never disappoint.

Jim Murdoch said...

It never ceases to amaze me how I manage to come up with these, Dave. I got the idea for this one while I was doing the dishes, came into the living room and jotted down "Who's on first" so I wouldn't forget the idea but I was back in five minutes because I couldn't keep the conversation that was brewing in my head. Not sure how long I can keep them coming but I'm not complaining. I do worry a little that not everyone realises that they're only there to point them to a book review. Perhaps what I need to do is state that explicitly in English so there's no doubt.

Rachel Fenton said...

"I do worry a little that not everyone realises that they're only there to point them to a book review. Perhaps what I need to do is state that explicitly in English so there's no doubt."
And you just did, Jim!

Brill review. Really pleased for you.

Jim Murdoch said...

I was - still am - dead flattered, Rachel. Colin's been in the poetry business for years. He must have read a lot of crap in that time. Now the hard thing - to get people to read the damn thing. That's why I've kept prices down to a minimum.

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