Living with the Truth Stranger than Fiction This Is Not About What You Think Milligan and Murphy Making Sense

Thursday, 1 October 2009

Aggie and Shuggie 20

Card

 

Maggie:

Ma! Ah'm seein stears.

Aggie:

Ah've taud ye befair, ye spend fear too much time in fronta tha comptuta.

Maggie:

At's no tha, Ma. Ye don unnerstan.

Aggie:

Maggie, hen, thur's loadsa hings in thas life Ah don unnerstan. Ah don need you addin t'the list, thank you very much.

Maggie:

Ma, will ye jist stoap yer ayernin an cumman lookat thas refyoo?

Aggie:

As at a new refyoo af yer Unca Jim's book?

Maggie:

Naw, Doanny Oasmund's nummer wan in the chearts.

Aggie:

E's no!

Maggie:

No, Ma, e's no. Put yer tongue back in. Af cairse at's Unca Jim's book.

Aggie:

Show us.

Maggie:

Thur.

Aggie:

Five stears!

Maggie:

Aye.

Aggie:

Hey, tha's no bad. Who gie im the five stears?

Maggie:

Sam Sattler.

Aggie:

Asn't e the guy whit anvented andygeschun taeblits?

Maggie:

Naw, Ma. Be serious. Is site's cawd Book Chase. E refyood Unca Jim's first book back in Oactober last year.

Aggie:

Dis Sammy menshun the speashul oafter oanywhur?

Maggie:

Nah.

Aggie:

Wull who's goanna know aboot it af no bugga menshun's at?

Maggie:

Shudda goan tell ma Da aboot it?

Aggie:

Nah, leave im stewin – e's stullin the doag hoose.

Maggie:

How loangur ye goanna keep thas up, Ma?

Aggie:

Till ah'm knee deep in Milk Tray an am oan first name terms wi the Intaflaira delivery guy.

Maggie:

That loang?

Aggie:

Or tull hell freezes ower. Which effer’s first. Cuppa tea, hen?

Maggie:

Ur you makin?

 

If the image means nothing to you watch this:


12 comments:

Rachel Fenton said...

When every household could have its own Bond! There's irony in there for those who want to discuss Flemming's writing with regards to gender roles and perceptions of masculinity (not that I would dream of doing such a thing)And all because...the lady would rather get to eating the chocolates than discussing how they were presented...Milk Tray!

Dick said...

I love these. Time for a collection so far.

And the reading is a piece of work all on its own. Eat your heart out, James Doohan!

Jim Murdoch said...

I was delighted when I found the old ads on YouTube, Rachel. They had later ones but these were the ones I grew up with. Complete overkill but great TV.

And, Dick, yes, the wee audio-thingy doesn't cope too well with Glaswegian but as far as a piece of free software goes I think it does a pretty decent job on normal text. As for a collection… I'm not sure. I think the odd one every now and then works best. What I would like to know if how people coming across them for the first time find them. You've been reading them from the start and know the characters' histories and relationships but newbies must really scratch their heads. I should maybe do a link to a page somewhere that gives them a bit of background.

Dave King said...

I was just thinking time for a book, and then saw that Dick was on the same wavelength. I'm really serious about this. I couldn't believe this was the twentieth. You've got a winner here. Publish and be damned!

Jim Murdoch said...

Dave, I am seriously pleased that you and Dick think these wee scribbles are worth collecting. Maybe one day I'll rework the best of them but not yet. As they stand I'm not sure they'd work out of the context they were created for, to highlight new reviews.

If I was going to consider a book - not that I am considering a book - I think it would work best if I wrote new material from scratch, short skits along the same lines as the Andy Capp cartoons. Although I've not mentioned him Andy is clearly an inspiration for Aggie and Shuggie.

I'll think about it.

Conda V. Douglas said...

Jim, I gotta add my vote for a collection. I'm always excited to see a new Aggie and Shuggie on your blog--fun reading and the accent reverberates? no...roils? no...rattles around in my mind with shabby slippers and a ciggie in its mouth.

Jim Murdoch said...

Now you're all just ganging up on me. I will think about it, Conda, and that's as much as I'm willing to say. I can't really see the thing working without illustrations though. Pinching jpegs for a blog is one thing but if I'm going to bring out a book that I expect people to pay for that is another thing completely.

Rachel Fenton said...

Got links to some fantastic illustrators on my blog, Jim...not ganging up, honest!

Jim Murdoch said...

I'll have a look-see, Rachel, but I'm still not promising nothing.

Mariana Soffer said...

What if the second options does not make much sense to me either? sorry I must be slow, dumb, or not getting the codes because I am foreign.
anyway nice images and clip seen here.

Take care Jim

Jim Murdoch said...

Okay, Mariana, a brief summary just for you: in a previous episode Shuggie (the husband) finds himself without toilet paper and improvises using the dedication page to my novel which he happens to have with him. Aggie (his wife) stops speaking to him because of this and also makes him sleep on the couch.

In this episode Maggie (their daughter) comes across a 5-star review of my book and draws her mother's attention to it. Her mum is ironing (ayernin) at the time. When her mother asks if the review is of my new book Maggie sarcastically says, "No, Donny Osmond's No 1 in the charts." Maggie wants to know if she should tell her father about it. Maggie says, no, "He's still in the dog house" (stullin the doag hoose). Maggie asks he how long she's going to keep this up and gets told, "Till I'm knee deep in Milk Tray and an on first name terms with the Interflora delivery guy."

That's the gist of it. The links in the post take you through to the latest review of my novel and there's also one to the special offer (speashul oaffer) where you can buy both novels for a reduced – and very reasonable I have to say – price.

There, does that help? Oh, and it's not code, it's Glaswegian which is what people who live in Glasgow speak.

Mariana Soffer said...

Thank you very much Jim, now I get it, first I see that I was missing a part of the story, which made it difficult for me, and on top of that the strange english, which I love listening to while I am there, but can not understand neither reading nor listening. But now with your kind and clear translation I know what it is being talked about here.

Thanks a lot jim and congrats and good luck with your 2 books.

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