Living with the Truth Stranger than Fiction This Is Not About What You Think Milligan and Murphy Making Sense

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Aggie and Shuggie 13

Aggie: Whit's up?
Maggie: Aye, Da, whirsa fire?
Shuggie: Ah widneuv cawd a famely meetin if it wernt an ootanoot disasta.
Aggie: Huv ye bin sacked?
Shuggie: Wurs an at.
Maggie: The dug's no deed?
Shuggie: Een wurs an at.
Aggie: Cairm yersel, man, ye'll bursta bludveesul. Nuhin cun be tha bad.
Shuggie: It cun. Oor Jim's had a bad refyoo.
Maggie: No!
Aggie: Maggie, fetch yer da a wee dram, hen. An be quick aboot it.
Maggie: Raight, Ma.
Aggie: Aw, Shug, who cunuv daen such a hing?
Shuggie: Sum burd frae Candida cawd Jaime.
Aggie: Tha's noa burd's name.
Shuggie: Look! Ye can check yersel. It's still up oan the screen.
Aggie: Is this it ere? Cunfeshuns af a Bibliafile?
Shuggie: Aye.
Maggie: Thur's yer drink Da.
Shuggie: Thanks, hen.
Maggie: Whit's it say, Ma?
Aggie: Wheest. Ah'm readin.
Shuggie: Maggie, fin oot whit the air fare t'Candida is. Ah've goat sum serious heed-nuttin t'day.
Aggie: Jist hawd yer hosses, Maggie … Ah'm nearly dun.
Maggie: Well…?
Aggie: It's no that bad.
Shuggie: No tha bad? Are ye readin the right hing?
Aggie: She oanly goat tree quatas way troo it.
Shuggie: See!
Aggie: It jist wisne er cuppa tea. Tha's aw.
Shuggie: Ah, but wumman, oor Jim's sucha sensatif lad. This'll be enuff t'break im.
Aggie: It wilne. E's made af stranger stuff thun this. Ah'm shair this Jaime is a really nice gurl wance ye get ti'know er.
Shuggie: Wull, Ah'm nae goanti be the wan ti break it tae im.
Aggie: Ah'll drop oor Jim a wee e-mail jist the noo and Maggie cun run roon wi summa ma wee cinemum buns later.
Shuggie: Ah raight. But thus usa sad, sad day fer th'Murduch clan.
Aggie: Yoo know summat, Shuggie? Yer an awfe drama queen. Maggie…
Maggie: Yes, Ma.
Aggie: Stick yer jacket oan, hen, I need ye te run roon t'the Co-Op fer sum cinemum.


Dave King said...

Brilliant as always - I run out of superlatives!

Jim Murdoch said...

You have no idea how fast I wrote this, Dave. I got the notice and within five minutes I had the bulk of it down. I keep thinking I'm going to struggle writing them but so far I've had no problem. They're fleshing out quite nicely.

Ken Armstrong said...

Ha! Bum review! Now you know you're doing something right. :)

(Of course, it's quite a sweet review actually but we gotta have fun don't we)

Jim Murdoch said...

Ken, if that's the worst I get then I'm laughing. And seriously, I'd barely finished reading the thing than I'd started writing this installment of 'Aggie and Shuggie', so you can see how upset I was ... not. (Do people still say that? It feels so 1990s.)

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