Shuggie: Ag. Are ye asleep?
Aggie: [pretends to snore]
Shuggie: AGGIE.
Aggie: Naw!
Shuggie: Naw whit?
Aggie: Jist naw.
Shuggie: Ye don’t know whit Ah want.
Aggie: Shug, wuv binin bed fer three minutes. Ah know whit ye want. Ah know whit ye aywis wants an jist yoo tell Wee Shug t’slink back inside yer jammie boattoms an go t’sleep. Ah’m no kissin im guidnight t’night.
Shuggie: That’s no wit Ah wanted.
Aggie: It’d be a furst.
Shuggie: Ah jist wunnert if ye knew that Dave King goat an award.
Aggie: Awd Dave? Naw, whit fer?
Shuggie: It wis frae oor Jim, fer bein a Kick-in-the-Arse Bloager or summat.
Aggie: Naw. An how cum oor Jim’s haunin oot awards?
Shuggie: E goat it frae that burd frae Millport, Cafrin Shearp or whiteffer er name is. An she said Jim cun pass it oana summat. Read it yersel in the moarnin.
Aggie: Ah wull. Night.
Shuggie: Ag.
Aggie: Ah said, naw.
Shuggie: Ah wisne askin.
Aggie: Wull whit noo?
Shuggie: Ah hudne feenished tellin ye aboot Dave. In is latest bloag e does a wee bit oan Jim’s book.
Aggie: Dus e? That’s nice.
Shuggie: Aye. E caws it a “gentul an hoomane portrait o hoomanity”. Is that no summat?
Aggie: Aye it is. Now go t’sleep. Ye’ve goat work in the mornin.
Shuggie: A’right, hen. G’night.
Aggie: Night.
Shuggie: Ag…
Aggie: [sighs] Aye, aw right. Jist be quick aboot it an don’t expect any enthusiasm frae me.
Shuggie: Right ye are hen.
10 comments:
Heh heh heh. I actually came from Dave's blog and had read his post first. That's killer stuff right there, ha ha.
Glad it amused you, Brady. You know, I was lying in bed and had the piece running though my head and had to get up to write it down before I could get to sleep. That's what writing's all about.
I'm with Brady,
That was better than all the awards. Brilliant stuff, just brilliant - I'd say jist brilliant, but I don't have the accent to go with it. Thanks for that.
I loved 'Kick-in-the-Arse Bloager'. I'm not sure the Scots can be beaten when it comes to charming rephrasings...Olympic gold!
x
Appreciate that, Dave, it was a real moment of inspiration. I'd woken up a three in the morning and went back to bed at five and that is when inspiration chose to strike and I had to get up and write this. I'm glad I did you proud. Oh, and it's 'brulyunt'.
And, Rachel, that was a last minute addition. Made me smile anyway.
Subtitled 'Aggie Does Shuggie'?
This has the downright sexiest 'denouement' I have read.
'Still trembling.
And there's more where that came from, Ken, I assure you.
Excellent Blog,
I'm going to check out your book.
NathanKP - Inkweaver Review
Hilarious, Jim--and such a perfect illustration!
Thank you, Conda but I think I did even better with the next one for Ken's review. Quite pleased with myself about that one.
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