Living with the Truth Stranger than Fiction This Is Not About What You Think Milligan and Murphy Making Sense

Sunday, 13 July 2008

Aggie and Shuggie 4

Maggie:  Ma! C'mere, Ma.
Aggie:   Whit is it? Ah'm tryin t fix yer faither's tea.
Maggie:   Huv ye seen these new reviews af Unca Jim's book?
Aggie:   Does yer da know yer usin his comptuta?
Maggie:   Ah wis daen skulwork.
Aggie:   Mare likely ye wis wastin yer time oan Bebo.
Shuggie:   Oy, wumman is ma tea no ready yet?
Aggie:   Haud yer horses. Ah'm jist lookin at a couple af reviews wi oor Mags.
Shuggue:   Reviews af whit? An who said yoos cud use ma comptuta?
Maggie:   Ssssh. Thur aboot Unca Jim's book.
Shuggie:   Ah neffer knew thur wur new wans up. An don't yoo shush me young lady.
Aggie:   Me neether. An will yoos two stap squabblin? Maggie fund them.
Shuggue:   How?
Maggie:   Did Ah no dae a search oan Google?
Shuggie:   Well shuv oar an let me see.
Maggie:   Da! Willya watch where yer shuvving me.
Shuggue:   Hey, any mora yer cheek an Ah'll gie ye a fat lip.
Maggie:   Aye right. Talk's cheap.
Aggie:   Hey, that's yer faither yer talking tae.
Shuggie:   Will yoos two wheesht while Ah'm tryin t'read? So wherama clickin?
Maggie:   Oan that link t' Gudreads. Sum guy name af Denis Taillefer.
Shuggie:   Gudreads? Whits that when it's at hame?
Aggie:   It's a site whir people say whits gud t' read, whidya think?
Shuggie:   Aw right wumman. Enufer yer lip.
Maggie:   He says Unca Jim's like Sammy Beckett.
Shuggie:   He disne.
Maggie:   Aye he dis, Da, an he says the book reminded im af Waitin fer Godot.
Shuggie:   Ye don't say … Aggie.
Aggie:   Whit?
Shuggie:   Are ye jist goanna staun thur peerin oer ma shudder or ahm Ah goan t'huv t'fix ma ain tea?
Aggie:   Aye awright. Gonna bookmark that page fer me so Ah cun read it later?
Shuggie:   Done. Rait oor Maggie, whir's the next wan?
Maggie:   It's thur.
Shuggie:   Whir?
Maggie:   Thur! BCF Book Reviews. It's starin ye in the face.
Shiggie:   Dae they say he's like Sammy Beckett?
Maggie:   Nah. They say he's mare like Charlie Dickens.
Shuggie:   Dickens, eh? Ah don't think oor Jim soonds like Charlie Dickens.
Maggie:   That's whit they say, Da. Mind yoo they've nae read the book.
Shuggie:   Whit? How cum they cun review a book they've nae read?
Maggie:   Ah don't know. Ye punced me aff the thing afore Ah goat t'read the review proaperly.
Aggie:   Well yoos can baith read it proaperly after ye've had yer tea. Huv ye bookmarked them pages fer me?
Shuggie:   Aye.
Aggie:   Baith af them?
Shuggie:   Aye. The Gudreads wan an the BFG wan.
Aggie:   Maggie, check t'see if he's dun it right.
Shuggie:   Ah did it right!
Maggie:   He did Ma. Ah wis watchin im.
Shuggie:   Whit's fer tea anywise?
Aggie:   Dead coo pie.
Shuggie:   Magic.


Rachel Fox said...'re 'quirky' too!
p.s. I think it's a shame both those reviews refer to the end of the book. Was I the only one who didn't see it coming? I really liked the end and wouldn't have enjoyed it as much if a review had tipped me off.

Jim Murdoch said...

Of course I am, Rachel, you've read the book, you know I am. As for reviews that hint at how the book ends … what can I say, it's hard writing a review at the best of time. I'm more worried about how I'm going to present the sequel to the world considering how I end the first book. And then I've got the end of that book to worry about. I've put a spoiler warning on the website but it's hard not to want to read.

Dave King said...

I have to put my hand up here: I haven't read your book yet. Blame War and Peace and me being a slow reader. I'm nearly there, but haven't quite finished it yet. As for the reviews, I do hope they will not spoil it for me. On the other hand, why should I worry: I have friends who regularly read the last pages before they start at the beginning... perhaps you should write the sequel from right to left, Jim? Being a tail-end Tommy, of course, I'll be able to write a review when all others have moved on and - I was going to say forgotten about it, but that is not what I mean. I am sure it won't happen.

Jim Murdoch said...

Dave, I'm sure you'll get to it when you get to it. Not quite sure how I'll stand up to Tolstoy but I did my best. As for the sequel, if you remember I wrote it in tandem with the original over a five year period. All I need to do is a final edit because I've not looked at it for years and I'm sure a final polish would do it no harm and then we'll farm it out to get proofread since it needs a fresh eye for a job like that.

The ending should be a surprise, it was meant to be. The first person who read the very first draft was rightly outraged by the ending and that's fine – she got the point. "How dare you," she said, which I thought was an odd thing to say but it also showed just how much she had empathised with the protagonist. It was really all the proof I have ever needed that the book was good. All the reviews so far have been and I'm grateful. It isn't making writing my current book any easier mind.

tashabud said...

With my Filipino tongue, I had a hard time pronouncing the words, but found this so hilarious. Hehe.

Jim Murdoch said...

Thanks for dropping by, Tahsa. I have to say these wee 'Aggie and Shuggie' posts are hard to write too. The problem with trying to convey exactly how people in Glasgow speak is not easy and I have to carefully edit the pieces after they're written. They are fun though and the thing is, the humour does travel. I was just looking for a novel way to direct readers to new reviews of my book when they appear and this seemed like a novel way of doing that without people feeling I was saying, "Buy my book," every week or so. That's one sure way to lose readers.

Anna said...

The Glaswegian accent captured - even I can sound like Rab C. Nesbitt reading that aloud. Brilliant.

Jim Murdoch said...

Thanks for the feedback, Anna, and you're right, there's more than a bit of Rab C. in oor Shuggie.

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