Maggie: Ma, how's m'da doin?
Aggie: E's havin a wee lie doon, hen. E goat imsel inna awffe state aboot that last refyoo yer Unca Jim goat.
Maggie: At wis no that bad, Ma.
Aggie: Naw it wisne.
Magge: Jahink e cud dae wi a wee bitta cheerin up?
Aggie: Ah'm shair e cud, hen.
Maggie: At's jist Ah've cum acroase anither refyoo. At's frae Jena Isle.
Aggie: So, who's she? Soonds lik she's a poap-starra sumhin.
Maggie: Whit wid a poap-star be dayin refyooing Unca Jim's book? Naw, she a Frillypinny burd.
Aggie: That's a long ways a way. As it a gud refyoo? Ah'm no lettin yer faither within a hunner miles o anither refyoo unless at's an absilute stoater.
Maggie: At's no bad.
Aggie: No bad's no good. Let me read it.
Maggie: Thur it is, Ma, Gewgaw Writings?
Aggie: As that sum fancy-smancy Frillypinny way ur sayin 'Glasgae Stories'?
Maggie: Ma, Ah cun barely speak Anglish withoot tryin t'get ma tung aroon Frillypinnyenese.
Aggie: Ssssh, Ah'm reading.
Maggie: Sor-ray.
Aggie: At looks no bad but Ah'm no shair aboot er getting stuck oan page seeven.
Maggie: Ah, but Ma, she says page thiheen wis er 'read tull dawn moment'.
Aggie: Ah no, Ah no, but yer faither's awfe fragile t'day. Ah think wu'll jist keep this wan t'oorsels fur now, tull e's feelin a wee bit stroanger.
Maggie: Whiteffer ye say. So, noos no th'time ti ask af Ah cun go ti the pictchas wi Duggie Scoat oan Satdy?
Aggie: Ah widne think so, hen. No t'day. Ah take it e's geen up oan tha Roabert Ludlum then?
Maggie: At wis aw a misunnerstannin, Ma.
Aggie: Aye, they ayewis say stuff like that.
Shuggie: [THUMP. THUMP. THUMP.]
Aggie: That'll be yer da lookin fer mair Lookazade.
Maggie: Jist as lang as e disne want me t'emty is chanty. Ah'm no dayin that no fer no man. No even ma da.
I had such a good laugh at that, really. :) Isn't it nice that Shuggie cares so much about you - it's very sweet really.
ReplyDeleteThe Lucozade will sort him right oot, you'll see. :)
Jena Isle is a lovely lady!
Where do you find these illustrations?! What a hoot Aggie and Shuggie are. Keep 'em coming and thanks for the link to Gewgaw Writings.
ReplyDeleteHi Jim,
ReplyDeleteIt is an honor to be featured by Aggie and Shuggie. This made me laugh too. The book was a blast, I hope I get to read part 2.
Thanks for the link and I hope you won't have use of the chanty.
Happy blogging.
Ken, glad to give you a good laugh and, yes, Shuggie really is a sensitive soul - just don't let his mates down the pub know, eh?
ReplyDeleteConda, it's amazing what you can find lying around the World Wide Web. I had quite a selection of chamber pots to pick from. This particular one was a wee bit small so I enlarged it and decolourised it since all Aggie and Shuggie's illustrations are in black and white.
And, Jena, glad you didn't get stuck in that first chapter. Yes, I admit the book is a little slow starting but you really need to get a flavour of Jonathan so see the effect Truth has on him I think you'll agree.
As for Shuggie's chanty... no, we blokes like our own chanties.
I agree Jim, and I'm an avid fan of Robert Ludlum. Bourne Identity was a hit to me.
ReplyDeleteHope you get that sequel coming soon. Cheers.
It shows you're having a blast with Maggie and Aggie. They're lovable characters. It's great to see Jena Isle featured in your post. She's an amazing person. I don't know how she maintains 8 blogs, write for others, and still work full time. She must not sleep at all.
ReplyDeleteTasha
You're quite right there, Tasha, just the thought of it exhausts me.
ReplyDeleteHOW DO YOU DO... TRUTH
ReplyDeleteTrue lies
You thought Arnie n your Mum were shysters, c’mon he is. There’s these people, old women who circumnavigate the globe with the sole intention of propergating twoddle. They’re mystical you see, because no one ever remembers seeing or speaking to these “old wives” although we always remember their tales. Some tales are inside you now:
Goldfish have a memory of only three seconds
More like a few months, but what the frig do they have to remember.
Lemmings engage in suicidal dives off cliffs when migrating.
A lie made by Old Disney Wives.
Thomas Crapper did not invent the flush toilet, Thomas Edison did not invent the light bulb, and Henry Ford did not invent the automobile.
Nope, all me.
more at www.lifestyleguides.blogspot.com