| Oggie: | Shuggie! |
| Shuggie: | Whurrafu? |
| Oggie: | Wake up, son. This is a pub, no yer scratcher. |
| Shuggie: | Ah wis jist checkin t’see af yer coonter wis level. |
| Oggie: | Shuggie, d’yoo hink Ah came up tha Clyde oan a banana boat? |
| Shuggie: | Mibbe no. |
| Oggie: | Look Ah wis wantin t’ask yer aboot sumhim Ah wis readin aboot oanline. |
| Shuggie: | Whit wis it? |
| Oggie: | At wis a refyoo af yoor Jim’s poemtry book. |
| Shuggie: | Och aye. |
| Oggie: | Aye. It wis oan thas site cawd Tha Big Divide or summat like that. Ah canny quite rememer. Some bloke cawd Brent Robison. Looks a bit like yon Terry Pratchett but without tha floppy hat. Anywise e wis oan aboot sumhin cawd noanduality… |
| Shuggie: | Whit? |
| Oggie: | Noanduality. So whit’s tha when it’s at hame? |
| Shuggie: | At’s whit’s Ah wish Ah wis. |
| Oggie: | Whit? |
| Shuggie: | Single. |
| Oggie: | Ah, Ah see. Very funny. Still huffin wimmen trouble, Ah see. |
| Shuggie: | Yoo huff nae idea. |
| Oggie: | Whit noo? |
| Shuggie: | She oanly wants us tae go an see a mayrige guidance coonslar. |
| Oggie: | Christ no Shuggie, ye canny be huffin tha? |
| Shuggie: | Why no? |
| Oggie: | Ah mean, men an wimmen talkin tae each otha. S’no natural. |
| Shuggie: | Tell me aboot it! |
| Oggie: | So whittre ye goan tae dae? |
| Shuggie: | Ah huff nae idea. |
| Oggie: | Ah maint huffa solushun. |
| Shuggie: | Which is? |
| Oggie: | Ye could lose yer voice. |
| Shuggie: | Don’t be daft. Aggie’d suss me oot in a New York second af Ah were fakin it. |
| Oggie: | Ah no ye see, tha’s tha hing at’s magic aboot ma plan – ye’ll no be fakin it. |
| Shuggie: | Whit ye goat, sumhin Ah cun swally at’ll take ma voice away? |
| Oggie: | Naw, sumhin even better. |
| Shuggie: | Like whit? |
| Oggie: | Karaoke! |
| Shuggie: | Karaoke? Yoo need yer heed seen tae. |
| Oggie: | Naw, straight up, Shuggie. Ah’m goan tae get a stonkin great karaoke machine fer tha pub. A cupple af hoors beltin oot Bat Oota Hell an Ace of Spades an ye’ll be oaderin yer pints in braille. Trust me, Shuggie – Ah’m a barman. |
| Shuggie: | Ah canny sing tae save masel. |
| Oggie: | An this is a proablem because why? When’s yer missus arranged tha appointment? |
| Shuggie: | Monday. |
| Oggie: | Fine. Ah wull see yoo oan Sunday night. Don’t forget yer platform boots. |
| Shuggie: | Ma whit? |
What a solution, Jim, to use Karaoke to avoid speaking to your wife, when you are such a fine poet and wordsmith. It's still a wonderful way to advertise the review of your Anthology.
ReplyDeleteYa pink ones. You know, the one's with the sparkly bits.
ReplyDeleteNot sure I haven’t written myself into a corner here, Lis, but we’ll just have to wait on the next review to see what happens next. Unlike most of my blogs I don’t write the Aggie and Shuggies in advance.
ReplyDeleteAnd, Tahlia, thanks for that. I have no idea what you’re on about. But thanks anyway. Pink boots, perhaps?
Well you know I'm a fan. This one jist makes me more fanatical!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Dave. Now I have the problem of how to cope if and when Shuggie does lose his voice. It has potential.
ReplyDelete