Ah, as Shuggie ere agin. Oor Jim's still aff oan is vishun quest or whiteffer so Ah thought Ah'd fill in fer im an dae a wee refyoo af too thoosanan-eight. Whit cun Ah say aboot thas year? It were pish whit wi credit crunchies an raisin prices, Ah've hud tae resort tae takin books outa oor locul library masel. Sad days. But it wasne aw doom un gloom an 08. At least Americcy goat a shiny new pressydent – Ah think that Lewis bloke frae Hamilton'll dae a great joab noo e's dun wi gokeart racin. Oh an we aw goat t'see tha Deark Knight filum – tha wis no bad. Pity that bloke whit played The Joker had t'go an kick the bucket. Stull, e went oot wi a bang. Mibbe eel get a post-dated Oascar next year. An then t'feenish the year in style did the prince o tha dramaitic ………. pause no go an shuffle aff thas mortal coil oan Chrismas Eve. Tha wis affie sad. Stull, at least BBC4 wull proabably huv a retrospectacle ur sumhin. That'll be gud. Summat tae luk forrad tae.
Anywise Ah've goat the muther un faither aff a hangower thus mornin an Ah needs tae get sobert up so Ah cun enjoy ma swally t'night so Ah'll leaf it thur an wish yes aw a haepy and proasperus too thoosanan-nine … jist dinne get yer opes up, eh? Noo ye’ll ave t’hexcuse me – Ah’ve a hurgent call t’make oan the porcelin tellingbone.