Duggie: [Knock! Knock!]
Shuggie: Oh, syoo. Whitya afta? Oor Maggie's no in.
Duggie: Aye Ah know that n at. Ah wis achally lookin t'see yoo.
Shuggie: Me? Whit fer?
Duggie: Well, Ah heard oan the grapefine yoo wisa wee bit doon in the dumps cos yoor Jim ada bad refyoo af is book.
Shuggie: Aye, so whit's it t'dae wi yoo?
Duggie: Wull, Ah ran acrass a new refyoo Ah thought ye might no af seen.
Shuggie: Whur?
Duggie: It's oan a site cawd Pursewarden.
Shuggie: Pissed Auden? Af yoor takin Auden’s name in vein Ah'll haff t'gie ye a skelp ye wee nyaff.
Duggie: Ah widne dae that Mista Murduch. At's cawd Purse…Warden. Ah printed oot a hard coapy af it. Ah canne get enuffaf Auden. Luv Auden t'bits Ah dae.
Shuggie: Fine, Ah gets the idea. Wull whit're ye stannin thur fer. Haun it ower.
Duggie: Ere ye go.
Shuggie: Ere thisis no bad, sno bad at aw.
Duggie: Aye, Ah thought yood be fair chuffed wi it.
Shuggie: Ah aim. Hanks a loat, son.
Duggie: Ah wis wunnerin…
Shuggie: Och aye, ere it comes…
Duggie: Naw, it's no like that. Ah jist think yoo might af goat the rang idea aboot me.
Shuggie: Ah caws it as Ah sees it.
Duggie: Aye, but Ah wis oanly hawdin oan ti that Roabert Ludlum fer a mate. Ah didne know whit is wis aw aboot. Ah neffer een peeked intae it. Onest.
Shuggie: Aye, mair thun likely ye didne. Ye know that stuff's the thin end o the wedge.
Duggie: Aye, Ah dae.
Shuggie: Af yer no careful ye'll feenish up oan wi the Dean Koontziz an ye widnae wanti end up like that.
Duggie: No way. No sir.
Shuggie: Aye, gud lad.
Duggie: So…
Shuggie: Look, son, the footie's aboot t'start. Afya fancy cumminin an waitin fer Mags yer welcum. Ah'm lettin aw the heat oot ere.
Duggie: Aye, that'd be smashin.
Shuggie: Wan hing…
Duggie: Whit?
Shuggie: Yer nae a Gers supporta, are ye?
Duggie: No way.
Shuggie: That's awright then. Entrez voos. Mecassa est yoorcassa an aw that. Y'wanna canna Tennants?
Duggie: Widne say no.
Jim,
ReplyDeleteAm oan ma wuy tu se yer refyoo aot
Pursewarden.
It's so hard to speak and write in Aggie and Shuggie's language. LOL.
I tried, but I think I butchered it.
This must be my lucky night or day. Twice in a row I got to be the first to comment.
Have a great day,
Tasha
Hi Jim,
ReplyDeleteI went to read Guy Frazer-Sampson's review of your book. You must be walking on clouds; he gave your book a glowing review and praised your talents as an author and as a poet. I know, I would be. Congratulations to you. I wish you much success.
Tasha
You know what I'm going to say, I guess. I am just sold on Aggie and Shuggie. Absolutely brilliant! Have you no thought of an Aggie and Shuggie Blog?
ReplyDeleteThat was an excellent review over there Jim. I know that because when I have finished reading it I've got that weird feeling like that's exactly what I would say.
ReplyDeleteA brave attempt, Tasha. I'm getting a little better myself and have started to build up a few rules in my head. I have a blog coming up about communicating Glaswegian to the outside world which I'm sure you'll find interesting. The real problem from my point of view is that the same word or combination of words can be said differently depending on the context or what the speaker wants to emphasise. Sometimes it's hard to provide the exact combination of letters to show how a word might be said, 'little', for example, would probably have to be spelled 'luttul' - you barely hear the 't' - but 'lu'ul' renders the word almost meaningless on the page.
ReplyDeleteYou're right though, Guy's review is a stoater – and that has nothing to do with stoats.
Dave, I'd love nothing more than to sit here prattling away about this ever-growing family but I really don't think I have it in me. I honestly find it hard to keep up with my bi-weekly blog and I've just turned down an offer to contribute regularly to another site because I know I couldn't do it. No, Aggie and Shuggie have their place although I'm toying around with letting Shuggie deliver an alternative Christmas message this year. Don't hold me to that though.
And, Jasko, yes, as I just said to Tasha, it is a very good review and also quite different to what's gone before it. I was very pleased that he actually quoted liberally from the book. I thought that really underlined what he had to say.
Cool underplay, very nicely done. And congratulations on the great review, well deserved, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteVery good review, this one.
ReplyDeleteI'm nae a Gers supporta mysel' either. Is that all you have in that fridge, Tennants?
Loved this. The Broons on Special Brew.
ReplyDeleteExcellent review. Makes me want to read your novel over again.
ReplyDeleteYou have done real fine on this blog. I can't even bring myself to keep mine active (which means that work and business has been good). So I don't blame you if you don't start multiples of them.
I do hope though that you are putting away some of your energy into another novel.
This week I got two people to read a few of my poems, one of the poems was published in Bonfire. A comment that I got was that they did not need the narrative back story. I responded that I'm happy enough if folks only read the front story.
Please pass on my good wishes to Carrie.
Paul, thanks for that. Yes, I'm very pleased with Guy's review.
ReplyDeleteKen, so you're a fussy drinker, eh? Actually I don't think I've tasted Tennants in over twenty years. We used to drink it as kids because of the women on the sides of the cans. The one I remember are the 3rd and 4th Lager Lovelies sets.
Dick, thanks for that. Never been fond of Special Brew. Irn Bru, yes.
And, Gabe, please feel free to reread it as many times as you like. I couldn't tell you how many times I've read it from cover to cover and I'm not bored with it yet. I still wonder how the hell I ever thought of it in the first place.
As for new writing, well, I've been having a hard time working since I've been ill which is odd because I wrote that first book in the midst of an awful depression. My current book is different, more serious and I find it draining. It is starting to find its shape but it's also very different to the other four and that's a good thing. That way I get to explore different aspects of myself and my writing.
Carrie says, "Hi," back by the way. She tells me you've been swapping comments on Facebook. I really can't get into that site at all. I check it about once a week and I'm never quite sure what I'm supposed to be doing with it so I leave.
Congrats Jim,
ReplyDeleteYou're going places, Cheers and
Happy blogging.
Thank you, Jena, let's hope it's somewhere nice.
ReplyDelete