Shuggie: FAMELY MEETIN!
Aggie: Whit's up?
Maggie: Aye, Da, whirsa fire?
Shuggie: Ah widneuv cawd a famely meetin if it wernt an ootanoot disasta.
Aggie: Huv ye bin sacked?
Shuggie: Wurs an at.
Maggie: The dug's no deed?
Shuggie: Een wurs an at.
Aggie: Cairm yersel, man, ye'll bursta bludveesul. Nuhin cun be tha bad.
Shuggie: It cun. Oor Jim's had a bad refyoo.
Maggie: No!
Aggie: Maggie, fetch yer da a wee dram, hen. An be quick aboot it.
Maggie: Raight, Ma.
Aggie: Aw, Shug, who cunuv daen such a hing?
Shuggie: Sum burd frae Candida cawd Jaime.
Aggie: Tha's noa burd's name.
Shuggie: Look! Ye can check yersel. It's still up oan the screen.
Aggie: Is this it ere? Cunfeshuns af a Bibliafile?
Shuggie: Aye.
Maggie: Thur's yer drink Da.
Shuggie: Thanks, hen.
Maggie: Whit's it say, Ma?
Aggie: Wheest. Ah'm readin.
Shuggie: Maggie, fin oot whit the air fare t'Candida is. Ah've goat sum serious heed-nuttin t'day.
Aggie: Jist hawd yer hosses, Maggie … Ah'm nearly dun.
Maggie: Well…?
Aggie: It's no that bad.
Shuggie: No tha bad? Are ye readin the right hing?
Aggie: She oanly goat tree quatas way troo it.
Shuggie: See!
Aggie: It jist wisne er cuppa tea. Tha's aw.
Shuggie: Ah, but wumman, oor Jim's sucha sensatif lad. This'll be enuff t'break im.
Aggie: It wilne. E's made af stranger stuff thun this. Ah'm shair this Jaime is a really nice gurl wance ye get ti'know er.
Shuggie: Wull, Ah'm nae goanti be the wan ti break it tae im.
Aggie: Ah'll drop oor Jim a wee e-mail jist the noo and Maggie cun run roon wi summa ma wee cinemum buns later.
Shuggie: Ah raight. But thus usa sad, sad day fer th'Murduch clan.
Aggie: Yoo know summat, Shuggie? Yer an awfe drama queen. Maggie…
Maggie: Yes, Ma.
Aggie: Stick yer jacket oan, hen, I need ye te run roon t'the Co-Op fer sum cinemum.
Brilliant as always - I run out of superlatives!
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea how fast I wrote this, Dave. I got the notice and within five minutes I had the bulk of it down. I keep thinking I'm going to struggle writing them but so far I've had no problem. They're fleshing out quite nicely.
ReplyDeleteHa! Bum review! Now you know you're doing something right. :)
ReplyDelete(Of course, it's quite a sweet review actually but we gotta have fun don't we)
Ken, if that's the worst I get then I'm laughing. And seriously, I'd barely finished reading the thing than I'd started writing this installment of 'Aggie and Shuggie', so you can see how upset I was ... not. (Do people still say that? It feels so 1990s.)
ReplyDelete